Trying to be music orientated again at the moment, because music has such a profound effect on my mood, I'm hoping it'll help like it used to. I cannot seem to shake that sad feeling. And I really want to because I feel like I'm sabotaging myself. I'm making plans and by all accounts, I should be happy. So... why am I not? I've searched my mind, and my heart, and I can't find the answer.
I do have the best friends I could possibly have. I have the greatest boyfriend, who I love more than I have ever loved anyone before, who knows me better than anyone else and who I am happy planning future plans with. Work is finally starting to pick up, I'm getting my ideas heard and the hours I used to work are coming back. I have shows, what I used to breathe for, planned in the future. More than one! Holidays in the pipeline, one of them to Disneyland! How can I still be unhappy?
Thing is, the majority of the time, I don't feel it. But when I do feel it, it's overpowering.
Wow, my mind is a total mess right now.
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