I love you terribly, I swear that this is true. But I can't stop my hands from smothering you.

Nightmare of You was awesome. They asked me to do the promotion for their fall tour, and I got smothered in kisses by Brandon. Sam really didn't know what to make of it!

Unfortunately, however, the rest of my life isn't running as smoothly as the show. Hours cut at work again (Typical, as I've only just got them back...), work is generally stressful and bad, Sam's loosing it because of uni, I'm loosing it because I'm just a mental person anyway, I miss my cats terribly, I'm having beef with Fearless Records at the moment, as they seem to forget I live in the UK, therefore receive the materials two weeks after everyone else, therefore cannot be expected to work two shows in just a week. Especially not on my wage. I'm struggling as it is! I also have a sudden giant yearning for Toronto again, this time without £500 of saving behind me. And I miss Mousecat and Furface too much, and I know I already mentioned it but I do. And I miss Chazcat like crazy. I keep coming across photos of him, or videos, or other things that remind me of him. People dont get it. He wasn't a pet, he was part of the family. The close family. And Sam and I are yearning for a cat of our own. It takes everything in me not to steal the gorgeous, friendly persian from down the road...

On a lighter note, I figure I definatly must have been a cat in a previous life.
Most girls my age and up see babies and yearn for them. Some kind of ticking in the womb or something.
Lately, I get the exact same thing whenever I see a kitten, a tiger cub, a lion cub...

I need to cut back on watching The Lionman.

I also need to win a lot of money so I can fly to New Zealand and pay to play with tigers and lions.

It was easy when you were younger.

Fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail.
That is how I am.
Fail.

Cancelled all birthday plans.
Mum says that my family won't let me down.
Awesome.
But my friends will.
& That'll hurt more than she understands. So. Cancelled.

All I do is aggravate Sam. Supposed to go to Lincoln with him tonight for a couple of night. I'm not. Haven't told him yet. But I'm sure he won't mind. He was gonna go without me anyway. Plus I'm sure he could do without the headache that is me.

I can't be happy. I'm sorry.